Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Ikea: Malm

"Hey, can I use the drill on these?"
"Huh? Oh, no. NO, no, no, no, no. Do you have a little wrench?"
"A wrench?"
"Yeah, mine came with a little wrench. Does it have a groove on the side?"
"A what?"
"A groo--just let me look at it. Oh, this has a screw head."
"I know it has a screw head, I'm not a fucking idiot."
"How many of them do you have?"
"Like a million."
"Yeah, you can use the drill, but I don't have the cordless one, and the torque--"
"Christ almighty, I'll just USE the SCREWDRIVER."

"Do you want the mattress higher or lower?"
"I don't understand the question."

"Hey, can you grab me the crescent wrench while you're down there?"
"Do you mean an adjustable wrench?"
"I mean a CRESCENT wrench."
"It's still in the truck. I'll have to go out and get it."
"You only have one? You have like, 5 toolboxes."
"Well, I don't use the crescent wrench very much, because I have a wrench set that--"
"Oh my God, please stop talking to me!"